PAWNY Conference/Workshop - "US Consciousness: Helping our Clients Shift from Thinking Individually to Thinking like a Team"

Time: 8:15 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.

Location: Burchfield Penney Art Center - 1300 Elmwood Avenue, Buffalo, NY 14222

Speaker: Presented by Terry Real, LICSW

Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and, most recently, Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship that just debuted in June 2022. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians. Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”

Conference Summary:

The toxic culture of individualism and patriarchy rests on the delusions that we stand apart from nature and are in control of it. Whether the ‘nature’ we are trying to control is our partner, our kids, our bodies (I must lose 10 pounds) or our own minds (I must be less negative). Our autonomic nervous system scans our bodies 4 times a second “am I safe?”, “am I safe?”, “am I safe?”, “am I safe?” If the answer is ‘yes, I feel safe’, we remain seated in the wise adult part of ourselves, our prefrontal cortex. We remember the whole, the relationship. But when the answer is ‘no, I feel in danger’, we shift into subcortical parts of the brain, knee jerk automatic responses in which we see the world as a zero sum, the “I win, you lose” power struggle.

In heated moments we lose the wisdom of us. We need to equip our clients to cultivate the ongoing practice of ‘relational mindfulness.’ Shifting from you and me consciousness into the centered adult parts of ourselves. Remembering love - that the person we are speaking to is someone we care about and not the enemy. This is the critical first step, the first skill from which all other skills depend.

Once we equip our clients to think ecologically and relationally, all of the terms change. For example, the relational answer to the question of who is right and who is wrong, is who cares? The real question is how are you and I going to work on this as a team?

At this conference, clinicians will learn how to guide clients to use their relationship as a vessel for growth and transformation, and learn interventions to help clients deal with heated moments in more effective, loving ways. Clinicians will expand their skills to help couples, families, and individuals develop healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Instructional Level: Introductory

Target Audience:

Psychologists, Social Workers, Mental Health Counselors, Marriage & Family Counselors, Creative Art Therapists, and other Mental Health professionals.

Statement of Sponsorship:

NYSED Social Work Contact Hours: Offered in collaboration with the UB School of Social Work Office of Continuing Education; recognized by the New York State Education Department's State Board for Social Work as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed social workers #SW-0001. 5.75 live in-person contact hours are approved.

NYSED Mental Health Counselor Contact Hours: Offered in collaboration with the UB School of Social Work Office of Continuing Education; recognized by the New York State Education Department's State Board for Mental Health Practitioners as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed mental health counselors #MHC-0008. 5.75 live in-person contact hours are approved.

NYSED Marriage and Family Therapist Contact Hours: Offered in collaboration with the UB School of Social Work Office of Continuing Education; recognized by the New York State Education Department's State Board for Mental Health Practitioners as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed marriage and family therapists #MFT-0007. 5.75 live in-person contact hours are approved.

NYSED Creative Arts Therapist Contact Hours: Offered in collaboration with the UB School of Social Work Office of Continuing Education; recognized by the New York State Education Department's State Board for Mental Health Practitioners as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed creative arts therapists #CAT-0003. 5.75 live in-person contact hours are approved.

NYSED Psychology Contact Hours: Offered in collaboration with the UB School of Social Work Office of Continuing Education; recognized by the New York State Education Department's State Board for Psychology as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed psychologists #PSY-0062. 5.75 live in-person contact hours are approved.

CE Credits: 5.75 CE

Conference Objectives:

1. Identify the tri part system of the psyche: wise adult, adaptive child, wounded child.
2. Describe at least 3 clinical interventions to utilize with their clients to help them use their relationships as crucibles for their own growth and transformation.
3. Describe how to give our clients a relational map and tool kit, a relational technology, that has the power to deliver on their romantic ambitions.

Conference Schedule:

• 8:15 - 9:00 - Sign-In Registration & Breakfast (included)
• 9:00 - 10:30 - Morning A:
  Overview of Relational Life Therapy
  Joining Through the Truth: Part 1
• 10:30 - 10:45 - Break
• 10:45 - 12:15 - Morning B:
  Joining Through the Truth: Part 2
  Trauma Work in the Presence of the Partner: Part 1
• 12:15 - 1:30 - Lunch Break (Included)
• 1:30 - 3:00 - Afternoon A:
  Trauma Work in the Presence of the Partner: Part 2
  Education & Skill Building
• 3:00 - 3:15pm - Break
• 3:15 - 4:30 - Afternoon B:
  Transmission Reception Work
  Amplifying Progress
  Dealing with Resistance

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If you are a psychologist or psychology doctoral student but not currently a PAWNY Member, you can register for membership on the PAWNY website prior to event registration.